It Doesn't Matter
by Kamuiheart
Summary: What does matter then, to the red clad Maverick Hunter? A little monologue after the war, a message that Zero relayed to the woman he loved the most. A bit of a depressing or happy story depending on how you take it. I wrote this as a bit of closure.


**ElecFlare**

 **It Dosen't Matter**

A/N: A one shot of Zero after Lumine is defeated, and his inner thoughts. Crappy description, but a picture on Deviantart titled "It doesn't matter" by Zero no Ai Chan, inspired me to make this fic.

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It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. No matter how many times I say I'm sorry, I know sorry won't fix you. You're dead now and it's my fault. The only person I wanted to save, and I blew it. I didn't listen to you. I couldn't save you, and that pain is the worst pain I'll ever feel. Dying is nothing compared to when you died, and when you died, I died on the inside. I'm sorry.

I can't fix you. Nothing can. No matter how many times X says get over you, no matter how many times Layer tries to reach out to me. I can't. I killed you, and felt your last sigh upon my cheek, felt your life flicker away, as you lay scared, confused, and sorrowful in my arms. I couldn't do anything, just hold you in my arms and stare into your hurt eyes. I wish I could've. I wish I could see you one more time to tell you I'm sorry, and you were right. I wish I didn't have to feel how scared you were and how betrayed you felt, and how much regret you had. I'm sorry.

I can't mend the damage I've done. This is what I deserve for being so stupid. You were my light, and now it's faded. I'm empty. I can't sleep without seeing your face. My biggest wish is to be able to stare into your emerald eyes once more, my flower. I know I can't do that. The war is over. Lumine is dead. But your not here. My war was lost a long time ago. It was lost when you left. I have no regrets in life, other than killing you, my dear. I know you wanted nothing but for the fighting to stop, and for me to just acknowledge your pain and your sadness and heal you like you healed me. I'm sorry.

I can't feel you by my side. I can't envision you laying here with me. I can't feel like my actions were justifed. They weren't. I can promise though, that we'll meet again, and we'll be happier. When I eventually die, when this world dosen't need me any longer, I'll be with who truly needs me. That's you, my dear. I've dug two graves for us, side by side. I'm sorry.

I want to hear your voice once more. Your soothing, special, and angelic British accent calmed me down in the worst of situations. You bring meaning to my name when you speak it. I shouldn't have taken those words for granted. I should have shielded you, rather than hurting you. I'm sorry I made you suffer. I'm sorry that your life was a short one, and I'm sorry I wasn't careful. My angel. I shouldn't have whisked away a blessing such as you. Scattered a flower as beautiful as you. Burned a soul as pure as yours. I'm sorry.

I'm numb. I put up a fake smile for my friends, so they can keep fighting for who they care about. But at the end of the day, when the sunsets, the one I care about is gone. I love you, my haven. I love you more than I can say in these pathetic words. I know your listening to me though. That much, I can take comfort in. I know your the same up there, and we're separated. You must be numb as well. You must miss me too. I'm sorry.

I don't want to do this anymore. What am I even fighting for besides saving this world? I already lost my world. My world was your heart, and every time it beated my world did a rotation around it's axis, you were my sun and my moon. But when your heart stopped beating, my world was destroyed, left in darkness, and forgotten about by everyone but me. I'm sorry.

I'm aware. I know that your heart aches to see me once more, as does mine. I can promise, that it'll be all over soon, my dear Iris. The wait is almost over. The tears can stop. The mourning can stop. We can start. We can live together in a world where only reploids exist. With each other. That's...that's what you wanted right? A world where we can live together in peace? I'm sorry.

Soon, my darling. I promise we'll be together forever, in a place were we don't have to worry, and a place I don't have to suffer anymore. This is my promise to you, Iris. Just hold on, baby. The pain will fade. We'll be together. I promise. Just hold on. The world will no longer need me soon, and that's when I can go with who truly needs me. Be prepared, Iris. I promise I'll ne there soon. I'm sorry.

-Zero.


End file.
